Crap Beer Week

Crap Beer Week – Day One

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Okay, so what we have here is the first of a week of the beers I think are crap. Some of them might come from the big brewers but not all – because that would be far too easy.

Before we start, an explanation. I class these beers as “crap” rather than “bad” because, to me, “bad” means there is something technically wrong with the beer. I’m not saying that these beers have been made in a dodgy way, but just that I really don’t like them.

I might not like them for a number of reasons. Maybe they taste icky, maybe the labelling irritates me, maybe it’s a beer I think is hugely over-rated, maybe it’s a beer whose only purpose is as a novelty. Maybe it’s a combination of those things, or something else altogether.

So let’s get things started with a beer called Old Fart. For ages I’ve avoided buying a bottle of this beer. With that name, it seems like the beer you buy someone for a joke, rather than because it might actually be a good beer. “Hey, you’re celebrating your 50th, so I got you this beer called Old Fart. Because you’re an old fart now. Geddit? Man, I shoulda been a stand-up comedian.”

My fears were even more justified when I read the back label which must have been written by someone with no idea of beer. “This ale is bronze in colour, well-balanced, fruity hoppiness, with subtle hints of sweetness. A beer drinkers delight.” Okay, could you have been a little more vague? And, by the way, that’s exactly as it was written – misplaced commas, missing apostrophe and all.

Elsewhere on the label it says it’s made of only the finest malt and hops. As to which malt and hops they might be, the drinker is left in the dark. So we have to trust the makers of a beer that has so far inspired no confidence at all.

What’s it like? Well, it delivers on the “bronze in colour” claim and not much else. There is certainly very little in the way of “fruity hoppiness” but there is some sweetness there (which is usually the case with a malty beer).

All-up it’s deeply uninspiring, very ordinary beer. Definitely something you’d buy as a joke.

Categories: Crap Beer Week

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3 replies »

  1. It’s frustrating that a lot of breweries aren’t putting better descriptions of the beer on the label, hops, malt used etc. It’s a bit like a wine bottle without the grapes used.

    I bought a case of Breakwater Australian Pale Ale last night (money was a bit tight) and the label just has some waffle about sunsets and that hops were used. Although upon tasting the beer, I have my doubts that this is true.

    • I reckon the hops they list would be true, but that they wouldn’t use that much of them. So they don’t scare off the average drinker.
      BTW, the sister to that beer – Single Fin – is actually pretty tasty.

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