Brewdog is the brewing equivalent of Rick from The Young Ones.

Like the character from that legendary 1980s TV comedy, Brewdog see themselves as edgy, alternative, as cutting edge and really hip and cool. They like to see themselves as genuine rebels who are totally sticking it to ‘‘the man’’. When they’re actually uncool tryhards more interested in image than substance.

Every time I see Brewdog’s latest shitty shtick I can’t help but hear Rick’s pathetic ‘‘right on!’’ call in my head – complete with him making the ‘‘peace’’ symbol.

The latest Brewdog wankery that got under my skin was their new beer – No Label. I know the profits from the beer go to LGBTQI+ events organisers Queerest of the Queer – that I have no issue with that at all. It’s what they’ve done with the beer itself that shits me to tears. They’ve used a type of hop called Jester, which is ‘‘naturally prone to altering sex while growing’’ – because it’s traditionally only the female hop plants that get used in beer. It’s been used to ‘‘add diversity, rather than restrict it’’. Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.

‘‘No Label is a new level of innovation in beer – it is smashing stereotypes surrounding the brewing process,’’ James Watt told the UK Telegraph.

What? You’re using hops, like every other brewer in the fucking world. You’re not smashing any stereotype – whether we’re talking about hops or that other stereotype of ‘‘jeez, Brewdog wank on about all kinds of shit’’.

They’ve also chosen to call it the world’s first ‘‘non-binary, transgender beer’’. Because, you know, all beers were male or female before this one. Fuck off. You know what pisses me off about this? It’s another example of Brewdog piggybacking on an important cause and, in the process, cheapening the whole thing. I just find this whole ‘‘transgender beer’’ thing totally patronising. If they came out to support women’s rights, I can imagine they’d release some ‘‘girl’’ beer in a fancy bottle. Maybe even with a pink label.

They want to look like they’re all caring and cool and oh-so-left but they’re just so hamfisted about it. They just can’t override their tendencies to make everything all about them, about jumping on the latest bandwagon to draw attention to themselves. ‘‘Look at me being so edgy!’’

They could have just given all the profits from one of the beers in their existing range – which, frankly, would have probably raised more money. But that wouldn’t have given them the stage for their ‘‘check out our lefty cred’’ pissfarterty. No, only a new beer would draw attention to Brewdog and, in the process overshadow the cause they claim to support.

Hey, Brewdog, if you like a cause, next time draw attention to them rather than yourselves.

Or better yet – just shut up and make beer.