So I’m in the local First Choice Liquor a little while ago and I spotted six-packs of Thunder Road Brunswick Bitter. Having not had it – and kind of liking the shade of blue featured on the cans – I bought a sizer. I also bought a four-pack of Parrotdog too (and it was genuinely surprising to see those in the store.

Brunswick Bitter itself is alright in a mainstreamy way, but that’s not what interests me here. What caused my eyebrow to raise was the “brewed longer” claim on the can. Admittedly, my knowledge of brewing is limited to a few years of making beer at home, but that has to be meaningless bullshit, doesn’t it? Brewing beer is dependent on when the yeast is finished its work – and that tends to happen when it’s eaten all the fermentable sugars or been overworked and fallen asleep. So I just can’t see how you can brew a beer longer, at least not consistently.

And “longer” that what, exactly? Than the other Thunder Road beers? Than other craft beers? Than mainstream beers? Than a cup of tea? There’s no explanation on the can and Thunder Road didn’t respond to my question asking what it meant.

So I can only conclude it’s an empty statement designed to trick the unwary. It’s aimed at making it seem like Thunder Road takes their time making Brunswick Bitter, which would lead the consumer into thinking there must something special about it. When, really, it’s most likely brewed for the same length of time as plenty of other beers on the market.

Or am I missing something here? Is there some explanation for “brewed longer”?