Shhh, listen carefully. Can you hear it? The cries of beer drinkers wishing that one of the big breweries would come out with yet another lager.

What? You can’t hear them? Yep, me neither. Yet despite the apparent lack of desire in the Australian drinking public, CUB have come up with yet another lager. Yes, the label says it’s brewed by Yatala Brewery – and doesn’t make a mention of CUB – but that’s who owns Yatala. Go on, Google ‘‘Yatala brewery’’ and stare in amazement as a CUB link is the first one offered.

This new lager – because, really, Australia just doesn’t have enough of them already, is called Sun Chaser Lager. It’s a low-carb lager – you can tell that because it has the nutritional information on the back (and only low-carb lagers do that). It’s also not going to be very good – you can tell that because it comes in a clear glass bottle.

You can also tell that because it claims to be ‘‘slow brewed’’, which I’m certain is just marketing wank rather than anything to do with the brewing technique (unless CUB brew most of their beers really fast so ‘‘slow brewed’’ to them is normal to everyone else).

Speaking of marketing wank I like the act they claim this is brewed with ‘‘local Australian grown barley’’. Does that mean that the Sun Chaser I bought in Wollongong uses barley grown near my place while a bottle bought by someone in Perth uses barley grown near them? Because that’s what I understand ‘‘local’’ to mean. Otherwise, the term local makes no sense. And if they’re referring to Australia as ‘‘local’’, then that makes the phrase ‘‘local Australian’’ a tautology.

But what does it taste like? Well, here at Beer Is Your Friend, that’s the big test. I’ll let all sorts of crappy marketing and attempts to disguise the provenance of a beer slide if it actually tastes good.

Nope, it doesn’t taste good. Well, that’s not entirely accurate – there’s nothing wrong with the beer. In fact, I’m sure it’s supposed to taste exactly the way it does. And that means very little taste at all. Even less when you serve it ‘‘icy cold’’.

It’s like any number of other pale lagers – some of which are made by CUB. Which leaves me scratching my head and wondering what’s the point of making Sun Chaser.