Drink It You Idiot

A beer rant

"Oh great, the Johnsons are here. They'll probably drink the free beer and then complain on Twitter how crappy is was. Assholes."

“Oh great, the Johnsons are here. They’ll probably drink the free beer and then complain on Twitter how crappy is was. Assholes.”

You know how it is. You’re at some social event, be it office drinks, a birthday party, a wedding or whatever. They’ve even supplied the drinks too. You have a look through the eskies or at the beer list – and are really disappointed. It’s nothing but macro stuff, you moan.

Perhaps you grab your phone, take a picture of the beer and attach it to some ironic tweet about how you have to drink this shitty beer. Or maybe you Facebook it. Whatever. It is important to let the beer geek world know that the beer selection is so crap that this is what you’re forced to drink.

Jeez, talk about being ungrateful. Your friend has invited you to their wedding or other special event and what do you do? Have a whinge about the beer they bought. So very classy.

But hey, guess what? You DON’T have to frigging drink it. That’s right – if you don’t like any of the beers there, no one is holding a gun to your head insisting you have to drink it.

Hell, you could drink wine instead. What’s wrong with that? It comes in two colours and everything. Or you could drink spirits. Or even soft drink.

But if you’re going to drink that beer you’ve decided is crappy, then shut up about it. You’ve CHOSEN to drink the damn thing.

Phew, been meaning to get that off my chest for ages.

8 replies »

  1. This is why it’s useful to cultivate a keen interest in many different types of beverage, so that if the beer is no good, you can always enjoy a nice wine, whisky or gin and tonic.

    Or cider. Cider is pretty great.

  2. But what happens when the wine is from a macro wine company and the soft drink is from a macro soft drink company, spirits are from a macro spirit company. Crikey what do we do then???? (this is all said in jest) hahaha .

    As Aaron said – #1 rule of beer drinking – if someone else is paying, don’t complain!

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