When it comes to beer, alcohol is essential. And not just because that’s the part that gives you the pleasant buzz. It also gives you the flavour, if the uniform underwhelming nature of alcohol-free beers are anything to go by.

Either they take a normal beer and add water until they get the desired alcohol level, or they use a brewing process where all the alcohol gets fermented out. In both case, the result is the same – not much happening in the flavour stakes. No-one is going to pick one of these by accident and think it’s a full-strength number.

And such is the case with this can of Schlossgold. Pop open the top and there’s a curious absence of the “pffft” sound that usually comes when you open a beer. There’s a bit of a head, akin to those you’d find on top of a mainstream lager. But the flavour, by God it’s weird. It’s as though they took a normal beer and chose to dilute it with the juice from some canned peaches. It’s oddly sweet, not that appealing and quite a long way from resembling a normal beer.

You couldn’t help but feel sorry for anyone who had to drink this at a party.