beer review

I was made for loathing you, baby

The new KISS beer called Destroyer really surprised me.

I’ve long known than KISS is the sort of band renowned for, shall we say, very intensive marketing. They’ve never been shy about slapping their name on all sorts of stuff. Seems that anything that stands still long enough gets a logo stuck on it. And, if you’re going to stand still forever – as in being dead – they’ve got you covered with KISS coffins and urns.

So I’m surprised it’s taken them this long to come up with a KISS beer.wpid-IMG_20130122_183021.jpg
What I’m not surprised about is how damn terrible it tastes. I had a good indication of that, because 64 Bottles of Beer on the Wall unloaded on it in a recent blog and because the KISS marketing department seems more interested in reaching saturation point than in quality.

So I knew it was going to be crap. But that didn’t stop me from buying a six-pack of the stuff when I saw it in a BWS store earlier this week. Why did I do that? Well, it’d have something to do with the staff’s distinctly unenthusiastic response to my query about breaking up a six-pack – seems it would be quite a hassle for them. And, given that I was with my daughter at the time – who is a bit fed up at being dragged into bottle shops regularly – meant I needed to get in and out fairly quickly.

So I bought the damn six-pack. Which means I’ve got five of these 500ml cans left and I’m pretty sure I won’t be drinking any more of them. Why? Because it’s exceptionally bland and flavourless. It was like there was a typo on my can – the K should really have been a P.

Aside from a slight, slight sweet maltiness at the end, the predominant characteristic is ‘‘watery’’. So calling this beer ‘‘Destroyer’’ is the best example of unintentional irony I can think of. ‘‘Weak’’ would have been a better name – then the can would read ‘‘KISS Weak’’, which would have been amusing for Australian drinkers.

It’s a beer that appears to have been designed for people to get drunk without nasty things like flavour or taste getting in the way of them slamming down the can as fast as they can.

Would I drink it again?: Nope.

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Categories: beer review

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7 replies »

  1. you really are going to have to get over this aversion to breaking up 6 packs thing. Would you take the whole litter of puppies or kittens just not to break them up? OK maybe thats a bad example, you may be a crazy cat lady

  2. It’s exactly what I expected from Gene’s marketing team, mass-produced swill for the American market (much like their music). They will sell loads of this stuff in the US, especially as they have a new album and are touring – they may even manage to make it the onbly beer available at some venues. I’ll be going to see them again in March and if I have a choice between this and the usual CUB rubbish, I’ll take this in the spirit of the show … but I won’t be drinking it again otherwise.

    • I like to think that your impression of beer can change based on the circumstances in which you drink it (eg, a beer drunk on a hot day straight after mowing the lawn might taste better than the same beer drunk any other time).
      So maybe the KISS beer works best at a KISS concert. Yeah, I know I’m drawing a long bow here.

  3. Sounds like “Bud”. It is important to note that this is what Americans like. And this should remind you all of a dark period in Australian Brewing that produced “KB”. The 1970’s. The same era that produced KISS the band.

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